Crossroads

For those of you that come here first for your Hillary updates, I hope you will click over to HillaryClinton.com and take a look at my new video, Crossroads. Mostly because I spent a buttload of money putting that together, and I better sure as hell get a return on it. And I can tell you it takes F'n hours of work with the special effects people to make my face appear human. So if we don't get enough hits, I'm going to fire Mark Penn and tell Bill it's okay to date his daughters.

Now as you know, I have to speak in a secret code when I do promotions on that other site. But as I have promised, there will be no B.S. here. So let me elaborate here on some of my key points in the video to help you decipher my words:

Faltering Economy
In my attempt to frighten poorly educated people, I referenced the faltering economy. Many of you have not discerned any economic trouble in this country. In fact, you may have heard well known economist Larry Kudlow describe what overall is a twenty five year long economic expansion in the United States. Or maybe you have been told that the unemployment rate in this country is currently near an all time low. Do not be deceived by facts! Karl Marx has taught us that we must destroy the status quo in order to bring a managed economy to life. In addition to scaring people who can't read (yet are still registered voters), I need the fallacy of a faltering economy to remain on the lips of liberals everywhere as a platform on which to build the new USSA (United Socialist States of America for those of you not yet familiar with the acronym).

Cowboy Diplomacy
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I used this clever term to describe that idiot Bush's approach to international affairs. I am one funny bitch. I am sure that all of you could easily discern this from my video. However, there is also something else behind these words. I HATE MEN. The very idea of a "cowboy" just chaps my ample ass. This American icon has been glorified for the last time. When I am president, I will introduce legislation that provides for any boy over the age of eight caught dressing like a cowboy or playing with a toy gun to be gelded. The current supplies available in sperm banks should last us for a century. And I will ensure that cloning (of women) is legalized before the end of my first term anyway.

Reform Our Government
I mentioned in the video my aspiration to reform our government. I already touched on this. But just know in the future that anytime I say "reform our government" or "bring about reform" or "change the status quo", what I really mean is that I will institute a form of socialism and rename the country as the USSA.

Work My Heart Out
I used this strange sounding phrase instead of saying, "work my ass off". Or more tamely, "work my tail off". This was an awkward attempt on my part to sound kind of folksy without inadvertently bringing any attention to the size of my tail section. I am sure that many of you ladies can relate to my personal embarrassment. And for any of you skinny bitches with cute little tushies, F you. I don't want your vote.