Oh yeah ... Uh huh ... That's what I'm talkin' about. Back when my friend Al Gore was inventing the Internet, I was rockin' out to Elton John, one of my favorite girly-men of all time.
So here we are, ladies. With almost half of all women democratic voters in New Hampshire supporting me, we have proven that it's us against them. Men are slovenly cheating bastards anyway (at least in my experience). And for those of you who never studied biology, two X chromosomes are all that we need to create women. So when Al Gore and I are done inventing human cloning, we won't need men at all.
But I do have to say something to the ladies of New Hampshire. I am surprised and disappointed that it took my teary eyed display of self pity on the national news to get your attention. I mean come on. You guys apparently rallied around me because I was acting weak?! I mean, don't get me wrong. I'll act any way that you want in order to get your vote no matter how demeaning it is. You want me to open a coke bottle with my ass? I'll do it. You want me to compete on Survivor and eat some combination of worms and gasoline? I'll do it. Anything to put me in office.
But really, New Hampshire women ... you want me to be weak? Have some self-respect.
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